The situation is complicated, so I won't go into it. But to keep things simple, we do love eachother. It was unbearable for me to stay apart from him, even for a single night. On the flip side, I don't want to trust him for a few months at least. I cry a lot at night about him, sometimes I don't get any sleep at all, but I don't think I'll ever truly be able to let my guard down with him ever again.